Usually, in the morning all I'm thinking about is what I'm going to do that day, and bananas. Mostly bananas. Today When I woke up, I started reading 'The Giving Tree' (Shel Silverstein), which has been one of my favourite books since childhood. All of the information I just volunteered is inconsequential, and has no obvious relation to what I started writing this journal to say in the first place. I just wanted to make it clear that bananas are important, and name drop 'The Giving Tree', twice. It's that great of a book.
ANYWAYS, this particular morning, I got to wondering why it is that people I know tend to come to me for advice. I'm only 18, with hardly any life-experience. In other words, I don't know jack shit. Somehow, though, I manage to put them on the "right track" again, majority of the time. Then, they get the idea that I'm a prodigy or something silly like that, because they realize, 'Wow, she's so young and inexperienced, yet she's so knowledgeable!'.
What nobody seems to realize is that I talk bullshit. Everything I have ever said; every heart-warming verse, every inspirational stanza, every revelatory gust of words that magically seemed to clear away the clouds for the sun to just shine on through(!), has really been nothing but empty discourse. When I'm laying it out, I don't even notice it myself. It's when I think about it that I realize that A, any "great" advice I have given a person is something they already know - just set to a prettier tune. B, the advice I give people I usually don't even follow
myself. C, I can spout out ardent counsel just as easily as I can say my ABC's. It is all, in a way, rehearsed.
Same old song
Just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do crumbles to the ground
Though we refuse to see
If more people allowed themselves to observe outside life, not related to themselves, and to filter that life until they got down to the raw bits of it, with a little effort they could apply the semi-obvious lessons to their own lives. Instead they have others relay to them something they already really know. The problem with this generation is that we are all self-absorbed, and overly emotional. Those two flaws often create a barrier when trying to settle problems with oneself, because they act as an effing deer light blinding the shit out of our personal insight. So, we look to external things, and other people to solve our problems for us, whilst trying to maintain the image of effortlessly "having shit together". Essentially we are all just part of a fucking enormous, melodramatic ostentation. All I want to do is be a spectator.
Don't hang on
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away
And all your money won't another minute buy
I'm sure I was going to elaborate on this more, but I've been interrupted by the storm in my tummy that's thundering, 'BANANAS!', and lost my train of thought. So, maybe next time.
